The Journey- 08/17/2006

In addition to discussing the topic of offertory giving in the context of our relationship with the Lord, I want to chronicle my journey as a messenger. This phase of the journey got off to a great start. God led me to attend the "Write-To-Publish"conference at Wheaton College in June (I was reluctant but He was persistent). God finally convinced me to go by letting me know that an editor who had published a similar book would be in attendance and available for consultation. I thought that editor would be the publisher most likely to have an interest in my work. I pitched my book idea to 4 publishers and 1 literary agent. Three of the publishers and the agent requested that I submit a formal book proposal. I only received one rejection. The irony is that the rejection came for the editor God had used to lure me to the conference. God continues to affirm that His ways are not my ways. I was nervous but God was amazing. The interest was exciting news but brought me face-face-to with my biggest obstacle, me. I'm a procrastinator and easily distracted. It was like I was back in college with an assignment to write a term paper. I struggled with my insecurities, my unworthiness and the fear of rejection. My focus was on me rather than God. I prepared and released one proposal but then I diverted my energies to researching the possibilities of blogging and posted my first blog in July. I thought this would allow me to test the level of interest in the topic. My blog met cybespace silence. What did this mean? How should I interpret the silence? I fell into a cycle of inactivity, checking my blog sights, finding no comments. making no additional entries and pondering the meaning of it all? God allowed me this period of reflection and I have concluded that this is about Him, not about me. If I am faithful to His call, He will do the rest. He has called me to go forward. This weekend I decided to get back to work. The message is His. The doors are His to open. I will walk forward with great expectation of His faithfulness to His message, His faithfulness to His word.